EXCERPT:
Maggie
Kennedy-O'Keefe
Monday,
June 15, 2020
As
I slide out of my unmarked police car my swollen belly briefly gets
wedged against the steering wheel. Sucking in my gut does little good
but I manage to move the seat back and squeeze past the wheel. I
swing my legs out the open door and glance furtively around the
parking lot behind the Grotto Police Department to see if anyone is
watching.
Almost
eight months pregnant with a girl and not at my most graceful. I'm
not crazy about the idea of one of my fellow officers seeing me try
to pry myself out of this tin can. The coast appears to be clear so I
begin the little ritual of rocking back and forth trying to build up
enough momentum to launch myself out of the driver's seat.
Once
upright, I pause to catch my breath. The morning dew is already
sending up steam from the weeds growing out of the cracked concrete.
Sweating, I slowly make my way to the rear entrance of the Old Gray
Lady, the nickname for the building we're housed in. Built in the
early 1900s, the first floor consists of the lobby, the finger
printing and intake center, a community room, interview rooms and the
jail. The second floor, which once held the old jail is home to the
squad room and offices. The dank, dark basement holds a temperamental
boiler and the department archives.
The
Grotto Police Department has sixteen sworn officers that includes the
chief, two lieutenants, a K-9 patrol officer, nine patrol officers, a
school resource officer and two detectives. I'm detective number two.
I
grew up in Grotto, a small river town of about ten thousand that sits
among a circuitous cave system known as Grotto Caves State Park, the
most extensive in Iowa. Besides being a favorite destination spot for
families, hikers and spelunkers, Grotto is known for its high number
of family owned farms – a dying breed. My husband Shaun and I are
part of that breed – we own an apple orchard and tree farm.
"Pretty
soon we're going to have to roll you in," an irritatingly
familiar voice calls out from behind me.
I
don't bother turning around. "Francis, that wasn't funny the
first fifty times you said it and it still isn't," I say as I
scan my key card to let us in.
Behind
me, Pete Francis, rookie officer and all-around caveman grabs the
door handle and in a rare show of chivalry opens it so I can step
through. "You know I'm just joking," Francis says giving me
the grin that all the young ladies in Grotto seem to find
irresistible but just gives me another reason to roll my eyes.
"With
the wrong person, those kinds of jokes will land you in sensitivity
training," I remind him.
"Yeah,
but you're not the wrong person, right?" he says seriously,
"You're cool with it?"
I
wave to Peg behind the reception desk and stop at the elevator and
punch the number two button. The police department only has two
levels but I'm in no mood to climb up even one flight of stairs
today. "Do I look like I'm okay with it?" I ask him.
Francis
scans me up and down. He takes in my brown hair pulled back in a low
bun, wayward curls springing out from all directions, my eyes red
from lack of sleep, my untucked shirt, the fabric stretched tight
against my round stomach, my sturdy shoes that I think are tied, but
I can't know for sure because I can't see over my boulder-sized
belly.
"Sorry,"
he says appropriately contrite and wisely decides to take the stairs
rather than ride the elevator with me.
"You’re
forgiven," I call after him. As I step on the elevator to head
up to my desk, I check my watch. My appointment with the chief is at
eight and though he didn't tell me what the exact reason is for this
meeting I think I can make a pretty good guess.
It
can't be dictated as to when I have to go on light duty, seven months
into my pregnancy, but it's probably time. I'm guessing that Chief
Digby wants to talk with me about when I want to begin desk duty or
take my maternity leave. I get it.
It's
time I start to take it easy. I’ve either been the daughter of a
cop or a cop my entire life but I’m more than ready to set it aside
for a while and give my attention, twenty-four-seven to the little
being inhabiting my uterus.
Shaun
and I have been trying for a baby for a long, long time. And
thousands of dollars and dozens of procedures later, when we finally
found out we were pregnant, Shaun started calling her peanut because
the only thing I could eat for the first nine weeks without throwing
up was peanut butter sandwiches. The name stuck.
This
baby is what we want more than anything in the world but I'd be lying
if I didn't admit that I'm a little bit scared. I’m used to toting
around a sidearm not an infant.
The
elevator door opens to a dark paneled hallway lined with ten by
sixteen framed photos of all the men who served as police chief of
Grotto over the years. I pass by eleven photos before I reach the
portrait of my father. Henry
William Kennedy, 1995 - 2019, the
plaque reads.
While
the other chiefs stare out from behind the glass with serious
expressions, my dad smiles showing his straight, white teeth. He was
so proud when he was named chief of police. We were all proud, except
maybe my older brother, Colin. God knows what Colin thought of it. As
a teenager he was pretty self-absorbed, but I guess I was too,
especially after my best friend died. I went off the rails for a
while but here I am now. A Grotto PD detective, following in my dad’s
footsteps. I think he’s proud of me too. At least when he
remembers.
Last
time I brought my dad back here to visit, we walked down this long
corridor and paused at his photo. For a minute I thought he might
make a joke, say something like, Hey,
who's that good looking guy?
But he didn't say anything. Finding the right words is hard for him
now. Occasionally, his frustration bubbles over and he yells and
sometimes even throws things which is hard to watch. My father has
always been a very gentle man.
The
next portrait in line is our current police chief, Les Digby. No
smile on his tough guy mug. He was hired a month ago, taking over for
Dexter Stroope who acted as the interim chief after my dad retired.
Les is about ten years older than I am, recently widowed with two
teenage sons. He previously worked for the Ransom Sheriff’s Office
and I'm trying to decide if I like him. Jury's still out.
Excerpted
from This is How I Lied by Heather Gudenkauf, Copyright ©
2020 by Heather Gudenkauf
Published
by Park Row Books
1. What is your writing process
like?
I approach each of my novels with the
goal of being a plotter – someone who explicitly organizes and
outlines her books – but it never quite works out that way for me.
I make notes and outline the plot but ultimately the characters take
over and do what they want to anyway. My process is messy and
meandering. Thankfully, I have a brilliant editor who is able to see
through the weeds and pull out the best parts of my plots and keep me
on the right path. This is How I Lied completely evolved from
my initial intentions. The characters changed, the plot shifted and
the final ending poked its head up near the end of revisions and I
couldn’t be happier with the results.
2. Which came first: the characters
or plot line?
For me, the two go hand in hand. The
basic plot line comes first, and close behind comes the characters.
It doesn’t matter how suspenseful of a plot I develop, if the right
characters aren’t there to mold the story and carry it forward, it
won’t work. Before I begin writing, I attempt to give my characters
rich backstories. Often many of these details don’t make into the
novel, but by fully developing their personalities and biographies,
it helps keep me in tune with them as I write. Knowing the
characters’ likes and dislikes, their foibles and strengths helps
me to honestly and accurately determine their motivations and the
decisions they make as they move through the novel.
3. How do you come up with your
plots?
I’m a news junkie! I’ll scan
newspapers and websites and a story will catch my eye. It can be the
smallest detail or a broader theme but if the idea sticks with me and
keeps harassing me to write about it, I know I’m on the right
track. For my novel Little Mercies, it was an article about a
social worker who ended up on the other side of the justice system
because of alleged negligence with her caseload. From this I created
an entirely new story about a social worker who was fighting for her
own child. In This is How I Lied, I was intrigued by news
stories that dealt with the use of familial DNA to solve cold cases
and it became a key detail in the novel’s resolution.
4. Do you use music to help set a
mood/tone for your books?
I do listen to music as I write. It
varies based on the story and what I think the characters might
listen to. By curating these playsets, it helps me get into their
mindset. As I worked on Maggie’s sections in This is How I Lied
I listened to a lot of Avett Brothers and Lumineers. For Nola, I
listened to classical music and hard rock – she’s an interesting
mix. As for Eve, since she was sixteen years old and living in the
90s, I listened to plenty of Nirvana and Beck.
5. Where did the idea for this story
come from?
Before I started writing This is How
I Lied, I read I’ll be Gone in the Dark by Michelle
McNamara, about the author’s investigation of The Golden State
Killer who, for decades, terrorized northern California. This book
both terrified and fascinated me and I became intrigued by how modern
technology was being used to close old cold cases. For my project, I
thought it would be interesting to explore how this might play out in
a small town where the perpetrator thought the truth behind the crime
would never be discovered.
As I was writing the novel, I learned
about the developments in a 40-year-old cold case not far from where
I live where familial DNA was used to ultimately convict the killer.
Amazing!
6. Do you find inspiration for your
novels in your personal life?
I often get asked what my childhood
must have been like because of the twisty thrillers I write.
Thankfully, I can say that I had a blissfully uneventful childhood
with parents and siblings that loved and supported me. For me, the
inspiration from my own life comes in the settings of my novels –
the Mississippi River, farmland, the woods and bluffs – all found
in Iowa. In This is How I Lied, the town of Grotto is loosely
based on a nearby town until I moved to this part of Iowa, I never
realized that we had cave systems. Visitors to the state park, can
literally step back thousands of years. The limestone caves and
bluffs are beautiful, haunting and have something for everyone. You
can take a casual stroll through some of the caves and have to army
crawl through some of the others. Old clothes and a flashlight are a
must! The caves made the perfect backdrop for a thriller and I was
excited to include them in This is How I Lied.
7. What is the one personality trait
that you like your main characters to have and why?
In looking back at all my main
characters, though they are all different ages and come from
different walks of life, I think the trait that they all seem to have
in common is perseverance. I’ve had characters battle human evil
and demons of their own creation but it doesn’t matter what
traumatic events they have been through or the challenges they will
face, they manage to make it through. Changed for sure, but intact
and hopeful for the future.
8. Why do you love Maggie and why
should readers root for her?
I do love Maggie! As a police
detective, Maggie has dedicated her adult life to helping others and
is a loving daughter, sister and wife and is expecting her first
child. This doesn’t mean that Maggie is perfect. Like all of my
protagonists, Maggie is complicated and flawed and has made some big
mistakes, but ultimately she is doing the best that she can.
9. What is one thing about
publishing you wish someone would have told you?
As a former elementary school teacher,
I had absolutely no insights into the publishing world beyond what I
saw on television and in movies – which portrayed it as a
dog-eat-dog world. I have to admit, as a new author, I was very
intimidated. But to my delight - and relief - the people I’ve
encountered along the way– my agent, editors, publishing teams,
fellow authors, booksellers and readers – all have been nothing but
supportive, encouraging and kind.
10. What is coming up next for you?
I just finished the first draft of my
next novel, a locked-room mystery about a reclusive writer working on
a true crime book when a snow storm leaves her trapped inside her
remote home, setting off a series of events that lead to a stunning
revelation. It was so much fun to write!
11. Has quarantine been better or
worse for your writing?
It’s been such a scary, unsettling
time but I’ve found writing a nice distraction and a great comfort
during this extended time at home. I’ve been able to turn off the
news and get lost in my manuscript or other writing projects. It’s
a lot like reading – a much needed escape from the real world.
12. What was your last 5 star read?
Julia Heaberlin has a new book coming
out this August called We Are All the Same in the Dark and it
has surged to the top as one of my favorite reads of the year. It has
everything I love in a great thriller: a beautifully written small
town mystery, with multilayered, unforgettable characters and a
twisty plot. It was absolutely mesmerizing.
THIS IS HOW I LIED
Author: Heather Gudenkauf
ISBN: 9780778309703
Publication Date: May 12, 2020
Publisher: Park Row Books
Buy Links:
Social Links:
Author Bio:
Heather Gudenkauf is the New York Times and USA
Today bestselling author of many books, including The Weight
of Silence and These Things Hidden. Heather graduated from
the University of Iowa with a degree in elementary education, has
spent her career working with students of all ages. She lives in Iowa
with her husband, three children, and a very spoiled German
Shorthaired Pointer named Lolo. In her free time, Heather enjoys
spending time with her family, reading, hiking, and running.
Book Summary:
With
the eccentricity of Fargo
and the intensity of
Sadie,
THIS IS HOW I LIED
by Heather Gudenkauf (Park Row Books; May 12, 2020; $17.99) is a
timely and gripping thriller about careless violence we can inflict
on those we love, and the lengths we will go to make it right, even
25 years later.
Tough as nails and seven months
pregnant, Detective Maggie Kennedy-O’Keefe of Grotto PD, is
dreading going on desk duty before having the baby her and her
husband so badly want. But when new evidence is found in the
25-year-old cold case of her best friend’s murder that requires the
work of a desk jockey, Maggie jumps at the opportunity to be the one
who finally puts Eve Knox’s case to rest.
Maggie has her work cut out for
her. Everyone close to Eve is a suspect. There’s Nola, Eve’s
little sister who’s always been a little... off; Nick, Eve’s
ex-boyfriend with a vicious temper; a Schwinn riding drifter who blew
in and out of Grotto; even Maggie’s husband Sean, who may have
known more about Eve’s last day than he’s letting on. As Maggie
continues to investigate, the case comes closer and closer to home,
forcing her to confront her own demons before she can find justice
for Eve.
Review: 4 Stars
A tragic reader's hook leads into a mystery that endures for twenty-four and a half years, leaving a small Iowa community unsettled and rumours rampant and undying. Three days prior to Christmas, a fifteen-year-old girl is discovered dead inside a cavern. Accident? Homicide? Too many persons of interest are uncovered, including her wealthy abusive boyfriend, a neighborhood sex offender, the victim's own thirteen-year-old sister--a strange and sociopathic girl. But these are not the only individuals with toxic secrets to hide. All these years later, new evidence comes to light, and the new police chief decides to send all the collected evidence to the state crime labs. In charge of the cold case, he assigns Detective Maggie O'Keefe: seven months pregnant, and once the victim's very best friend.
A toxic morass of secrets, emotional and physical abuse, sexual predation, and an unreliable, emotionally fraught narrator, create an unsettling novel of psychological suspense.
